Upgrade Your Self-Talk

(If you prefer listening  you'll find this topic on my podcast too!)

Your self-talk is a major factor in the quality of your life. Let’s bring it to the surface now and transform it into the positive force it’s meant to be.

The Power of Self-Talk

In this post, we’ll become more aware of our own self-talk, and as we do, we’ll reconnect with our power to consciously choose how we want to speak to ourselves.

Our self-talk is made up of what we say to ourselves all day long—a running monologue under the surface of our awareness. It reflects our personal patterns of thinking and the “programs” that are active within us.

Most of us have heard the same thoughts inside our heads for so long that we accept them as truth—a very deep form of truth.

That’s what makes negative self-talk so debilitating: we believe it so deeply.

Bringing Awareness to Your Inner Dialogue

Tune in now and ask yourself:

“What types of things have I been saying to myself so far today?”

As you reflect, focus on the energy of your own heart and hold yourself in a space of self-love.

Feel yourself a welcomed, beloved part of the Earth, and know that you have all the power you need to transform your self-talk into something that matches the power of your own beautiful heart.

Check in and notice—how does that feel?

Upgrading your self-talk can improve your life in a powerful way, so set an intention now to become fully aware of your own inner monologue.

Recognizing the Impact of Self-Talk

Think back to the last time you felt anxious.

• What negative messages do you think might have been playing in your mind at that time?
• What thoughts must you have been believing in order to feel so anxious?

Take a few moments to identify the under-the-surface self-talk that was creating, contributing to, or supporting your anxiety.

Now give yourself a moment to reexamine those thoughts.

Do you truly believe them?

Think back to the last time you felt embarrassed.

• What negative messages do you think might have been playing in your mind at that time?
• What thoughts must you have been believing in order to feel embarrassed?

Take a few moments to identify the under-the-surface self-talk that was creating, contributing to, or supporting your embarrassment.

Now give yourself a moment to reexamine those thoughts.

Do you truly believe them?

Shifting into Positive Self-Talk

Now think back to the last time you felt really, really good.

• Recall and relive those feelings in your body, mind, and spirit.
• What positive messages do you think might have been playing in your mind at that time?
• What thoughts must you have been believing in order to feel so good?

Take a few moments to identify the under-the-surface self-talk that was creating, contributing to, or supporting your well-being.

Now think back to another time you felt really, really good.

• Recall and relive those feelings in your body, mind, and spirit.
• What positive messages do you think might have been playing in your mind at that time?

Take a few moments to identify the under-the-surface self-talk that was creating, contributing to, or supporting your well-being.

Pay attention to the way you feel from now on, and take regular time to stop and identify the self-talk that’s supporting or undermining you.

A Real-Life Example of Supportive Self-Talk

Someone I know used to work for a floral designer, and she told me a story about him that has really stayed with me.

They were setting up the floral arrangements for a big, important wedding, and everything was going wrong—they didn’t have the correct supplies, and part of the staff hadn’t shown up. They were working frantically, trying to set up the floral displays before they ran out of time.

The crew heard their boss speaking to himself out loud as he worked.

“You can do this,” he said to himself, over and over.

And it was true. As always, everything turned out looking great.

The story stuck with me because it was a real-life example of how supporting ourselves actually works.

Think of how your own life might change if you started saying supportive things to yourself, all day long!

Reminding Yourself of What’s True

Some of your self-talk can take the form of reminding yourself of what you already know to be true.

For example, when my daughter, Jenny, moved to San Francisco a few years ago, I found myself driving into the city on a regular basis for the first time in my life.

I was raised in the suburbs, and driving in San Francisco (with all the hills and unfamiliar freeways) intimidated me.

On one of my early trips to visit Jenny, I noticed myself feeling really anxious in the traffic as I navigated through the city.

So as I drove, I started talking to myself in my mind:

“It’s just driving. You know how to drive, Kim. You’ve been driving for over forty years! It doesn’t matter if you know the area or not. No matter where you are, you know how to drive!”

t was true! And it made such a difference.     

A Self-Talk Challenge for You

I’d like to ask you to go out of your way to support yourself in this same way from now on.

Say something supportive to yourself at least four times today, and take a moment to notice how it feels.

• Notice how you feel in your body.
• Take note of any resistance that might come up.

Then, take a moment at the end of the day to assess the cumulative effect of your positive self-talk.

Say something supportive to yourself as you drift off to sleep, and as you do, remember that I’m sending you love!